My Parents' Love and a Note to All Drivers

I've never felt so loved by my parents as I do tonight as I write this. I will never understand their love or how the HECK they can care for me and love me so unconditionally. I am so blessed. 

Today I got in a car accident. And it wasn't just a little "bumper to bumper" collision. It was a rear-ending that made the car I was driving shrivel up and die in the front. I was changing lanes, didn't slow down enough, thought I was okay, and the next thing I knew... I had slammed on the brakes and was running into the van in front of me. 

By the kindness of God, everyone was okay. My older sister Molly (who was with me) and I were unhurt, as well as the driver of the 12-passenger van I had hit (he didn't have any passengers with him). His car got off with just a few scratches, but that's not exactly what I can say for our little red '98 Honda civic...

After much crying and exchanging information and talking to insurance companies and help from a good family friend (my parents were out of town today), we got the civic home (and the van driver was more than nice and sympathetic to us, which is another blessing from God). Then I waited. 

I had called my Dad right away after the accident, and filled my parents in on everything as we went along. When I called to say we were safely home, they were still about 3 hours away and said that we'd talk more when they got home. 

Waiting killed me. I cried, I replayed the scene in my head, I wished I hadn't braked (broken?) so late, I thanked God everyone was safe, I felt guilty for ruining my family's third car that Molly, Clark, and Mom used frequently, I vowed I'd never drive again, and I cried some more. 

When they got home a few hours ago, I walked outside to meet them. We hugged, we looked over the car, they sighed, I cried (I'm just really emotional, sorry!), and my Dad made a couple of jokes about the car and my driving. (To which I told him this was no time for joking, but in my heart was so grateful for his bit of humor that helped lighten the mood.) Then it was time to talk.

My parents asked questions and listened to my answers. They asked what I did wrong. They asked what I should have done differently. We talked about the importance of going the speed limit, of not succumbing to peer pressure (either from friends within your car or other peer drivers), of awareness of surroundings on the road, of how there is a difference between young (newer) drivers and old (experienced) drivers, and of how we all can become proud and think we are in control when in reality we have no idea what will happen on the road and we all need to be as cautious as possible. They pointed out my pride, they noted my inexperience, and they commented on how this would affect my summer. And as I sat there, my feelings of guilt and shame turned to anger and pride. NO ONE drives the exact speed limit - everyone goes 5-10 over! and I know what I did wrong today in the accident. I won't do it again. Why can't they see that? and It's not my fault I got my license just a year ago - it's theirs! were the thoughts going through my head. I didn't want to hear anything else they had to say. I wanted to say, "I know! I know!" and be done with the conversation.

But then something hit me. It had to be the Holy Spirit because left to myself I would have stayed in my anger and pride. It happened when my Dad said something around the following...

"And Debbie? We love you. We tell you these things because we love you and want what's best for you. We're not mad or angry or lashing out at you. But we want you to know how serious driving is and that we never want your carelessness to take your life or the life of another. It was by the grace of God that no one was hurt today, and we hope that you will never have to experience an accident that reaps more serious consequences."

When he said this, my thoughts started to change and I began to realize that they were right. They were SO right. I have only been driving for a little over a year - I'm extremely inexperienced. The roads have certain speed limits there for a reason - it's breaking the law and flirting with the safety of others around me to go above those posted speeds. These thoughts and others kept melting my hard heart (cheesy, sorry, but true!) and breaking me down to see how proud I was being and how little I know about driving. My parents only tell me these things and instruct me in this way because they LOVE me, and they don't want to see me or others hurt.

I know some of you may be reading this and thinking that it's dumb or cheesy or that my parents are wrong, but let me just say something that might influence you otherwise....

My Dad was in his early twenties. His Mom, 17-year old sister Carrie, and a few other relatives were in the car driving to visit family. Carrie was driving, and she looked down for a split second to change the radio. She swerved, the car flipped. The relatives in the back seat made it out with little injuries... But Carrie and my Grandma died within a few days. 

Just like that. 

We don't know how many days we have on this earth. Only God knows. If my accident today has taught me anything, it's taught me that driving is a serious thing, and I am blessed to sit here tonight in the safe state my body is in. I want to strive to be a safer, more cautious, more aware driver who lives out the reality that driving can have sad, serious consequences.

So! The next time you're out on the road, please drive cautiously. Please go the speed limit. Please set your radio station or iPod before you start driving. Please don't do anything while driving that would distract you from the road. Please let the good looking but idiot guys in the car beside you "win" the race to the stoplight. You never know what will happen on the road. You could end up with a car like this...

Or you could lose your Mom and sister.

I pray any and all of you who have read to the end of this post will stop and think twice the next time you hop in your car.